reviously, I posted about the events that led to my coming out to myself as transsexual and the life changing things I faced. April 16, 2007 - April 16, 2017 By Sandra Wagner Following that fateful test, which forced me to recognize myself as transsexual, I knew I had to act. I would have to discuss my feelings with my wife that it wasn’t just a hobby. This literally was the hardest thing I had to do. tions of the revelation, though, would cost me dearly. I knew I needed help. I could no longer pretend to be something I was not. I wasn’t male, I had never been male. I was female, but I had been forced to live and act as male because of an accident of birth. In many ways, I viewed this as a birth defect. And I needed it to be corrected. My wife had recognized my depression and was fearful of my life. Though she did not know why I was depressed, she knew I needed to seek professional assistance. When she talked to me about my depression, I told her that I would seek guidance, but I would see someone that had training in gender issues. I confessed to her that I was transsexual and that I had to do something about it. I had been on antidepressants before, but other than turning me into a zombie, they really didn’t help with my depression. She told me that she didn’t care who I saw, as long as it was effective. sions, she said that I exhibited many of the indications of what is called a “Classic Transsexual”. Someone with obvious issues with gender and gender expressions and needed assistance in unraveling those issues. The diagnosis is the easy part. The hard part is the question; “Now what?” My therapist gave me a recommendation to see a doctor who was familiar with gender issues and transsexuality. He put me on estrogen and spironolactone. Estrogen is the female sex hormone, and spironolactone is used to suppress the effects of testosterone. The results, for me were very quickly seen. Not so much in physical changes to my body, but to my mood. In less than ten days after starting HRT, my depression disappeared. And the triggers for my depression no longer had any hold on me. Usually, I would go into depression from being in a crowded mall, or having any intense emotion (either happy or sad), or just thinking about depression. These triggers were gone. It was like the rabbit hole I would fall into had afraid to have emotions. bat the effects of prostate cancer. And many of these men nized because of female hormones running through their bodies. I viewed my loss of masculinity and feminization of my body as a rite of passage. At long last, I had taken the als are relieved or even elated when starting HRT. Many psychologists feel, though, that this is simply because the lives. I knew this before I started HRT and tried to keep an open mind on the subject. But I couldn’t deny my feelings of relief when the psychological effects of HRT started to appear. As I continued therapy, my body continued changing and my mind continued healing. I didn’t know quite where I was going to end up, but I knew that I was on the right track. I