www.flipmagazine.netFebruary2016 How to Be OK Being Single Sex Tips to Drive Him Wild 10 Signs Hes Cheating on You- theses are the types of articles we all scoff at and then secretly read when no one else can see our shame. We cant help but think that maybe this article will be the ONE. The one that has all the answers that can unlock some secret in the universe that makes our issue easier to cope with. Lets be real they all basically say the same thing and leave us with a feeling of futility- like theres no real hope for change. I cant promise that Im writing the only article ever that will NOT be like that but I hope I can give you something different. This is the part where Im supposed to say that youre a strong independent woman who dont need no man which obviously is true youre a bad ass But I think the subject is more nuanced than that. Its more than just giving you permission to embrace who you are. Its more of a question of HOW. And before we get into that I think its important to look at a definition of the word single- Single Only one in number unique sole a single example. Whether or not youre with someone I think we can all agree that every person fills this description- you are a beautiful single example of yourself one that no one else can copy. And its so important vital to hang onto that whether youre in a relationship or not. So this is for ALL you ladies out there regardless of your love situation. Getting to know yourself and then being ok with who that person is takes a while. Not only is it time consuming but its also something that needs constant re-evaluation. Youre constantly learning and growing- whether youre aware of it or not. A few years ago I ended my first relationship- it was a sad scary and lonely part of my life. Because it was so lonely I tried to force other romantic relationships to work even if I knew it was a bad idea. Not surprisingly each one left me more devastated than the last until eventually I learned that I had to be ok being by myself before I could be with anyone else. This was incredibly liberating. There were new things I could go after old things I desperately wanted to discard. Things that had changed within me due to this break up and things I still needed to work on changing in myself. It took a long time for me to fully embrace the person I really was. When that happened the pre- break up me was just a shadow of the authentic person I discovered hiding under all the nonsense. After a few years I found another person to give it a shot with and because I was solidified in myself I was able to stand firm in that relationship. Fast forward two wonderful years later and were still together. While its been a journey I wouldnt trade for the world I recently turned inward and realized that I had subtly let go of a lot of things that made me inherently me. Sometimes you can lose focus on yourself as you 22 How to be OKBeing SingleBy Arielle Nieshalla What s in a Name - Arielle Nieshalla is a writer actor and all around dabbler in the arts living in LA. She loves reading and looking contemplatively out of windows whilst its raining. Shes a contributing writer for the fabulous HelloGiggles website and you can follow someofherwritingathttphellogiggles.compraise- real-father3or if social media is more of your thing catch her adventures in Instagram Aribelle89.